June 28.

I’m really enjoying the process of painting for myself.  The huge canvas is so much fun and working with big brushes and lots of paint is as freeing as the idea of simply painting for myself.  I’m happier with my work than I’ve probably ever been with any painting I’ve done before.  I guess there is something of a real artist in me after all. Sometimes I’ve wondered. I love the colors I’m working with and I’m happy about the whole process, although I’m not fully decided on all the aspects yet, it’s nice to know I can just do what feels right once I decide. It’s a good feeling.

June 29

It’s strange how the painting changes. I’m so used to making a decision, gathering my reference materials and painting what I started out to paint. There is something very exciting about letting the process happen without so much imposition of my original goal as unchangeable.  Of course, the lack of direction should be making me nervous, instead it just makes me excited to get up and look at the painting each day and see where it leads me. My painting is slow, I take everything in stages and I have to wait between layers for the paint to dry.  It can be frustrating, but it also gives me lots of time to mull over the direction the painting is going.

In the past I’ve always just put the painting I was working on away during the drying time.  Having this one out and where I see it off and on all day is really interesting. I think about it so much and I consider it in so many different ways.  The possiblities are really endless, rather than restricted.