July 18: The last few days have been difficult.  I’m finding that I am wishing I had more experience painting rocks and mountains.  They are a constant distraction. I can’t seem to find a way to make them look right.  They are from my imagination rather than using reference photos and they are difficult to get to looking right.

the reflection isn’t right.  The horizon line on the water isn’t straight. I used liquid white as a medium with my paints and it is continually sweating out of the paint and streaking and roughing up the paint.  Every day I’m stroking the painting lightly anywhere that there are weeping areas. It is chaning the tone in some areas and I’m having to accept it.  I have to let some drying happen.  There is so much paint on this canvas!  I haven’t allowed more than a few days drying time in between each layer.  I’m pushing boundaries of what the paint will allow.

July 19: Tonight I added the final highlights.  The mountains have taken on all the crennalations and ledges that I envisioned.  Some shapes offered themselves from the original free work with the palatte knife. The highlights of the stones around the bottom finally seem to make some sense.  I had to soften the rocks at the base of the mountain, I think they are bearable now, though I’m not pleased with them. 

I look at the painting and I see things I like.  Ten minutes later, I look at the painting and see things I don’t like.  I finally decided I can’t paint anymore before turning it in.  It needs time to dry.  I can always go back and work on it more after the fact, if I want to.

Most of the things I like most about the painting are aspects that happened, rather than being well planned or executed.  I like the watery look between the shores, especially with the green knotwork peeking through.  I hadn’t intended to obscure it so much, but I like it. I like the way the bottom looks almost like old wood.  I had intended to bet a grassy feeling, but I like the way the paint took to the canvas.  I like the mountains more than I expected to. They had felt very flat and blocky, I think the highlights give them some depth and a history. I can see places where wizards walk and sorcerors practice their spells up among the crags. There is still the feeling of a giant’s stairway to the sky in them.  On the left are the squared stones that I painted while thinking of the Giant’s Causeway in ireland. I love the idea of all those strangely uniform rocks rising from the shoreline. My husband thought my rocks look like ice cubes. Once I showed him the Causeway rocks he understood.

My favorite symbols ended up being the white dragon and the stallions on the masculine side, and the cow on the feminine side.  I was surprised by how much I liked the cow symbol. It took me by suprise and it was one of the last, if not the last item I added. 

Overall I think I am satisfied with the canvas, as a learning experience.  I can see so many ways I could have made it better, if I had more practice.  I need to master the pine tree and the rocks. I was disappointed at first that the feminine symbols seemed to be receeding so far into the background, until I thought about the fact that we do live in a patriarchal society, so perhaps it is appropriate.

Last thought.  I don’t think I will attempt such a major painting with less 8 - 12 weeks to finish.  I think that I need the drying time between layers -- both for the paint and for my own process.  I loved painting, but I can see how rushing to get it done has compromised some of my work.  I usually wait a full week between each layer of paint. I can see that, while I always felt it was very slow, there is something very peaceful in waiting.